2006, Warner Brothers/Legendary Pictures, Dir. John A. Davis - Starring the voice talents of Zach Tyler, Julia Roberts, Nicolas Cage, Regina King, Bruce Campbell, Meryl Streep, Paul Giamatti, Ricardo Montalban, Lily Tomlin, Rob Paulsen, Larry Miller, Cheri Oteri

I’ve mentioned earlier that we’ve reached the Golden Age of Computer Animation, and here’s one of the year’s most forgettable attempts at a Pixar-esque hit. Speeding past ‘Cars’ as the year’s worst children’s film, there’s little to applaud for the little cast members of ‘Ant Bully’. It’s a feeble, worthless picture with drab animation and an unnecessary celebrity voice list - which lays bare the weak attempts on the cast’s part to make any of their roles unique. Kids will find the little critters and bugs interesting (Filmed in Fantastic Technicolor! *cue shining grin*), but adults are sure to lose interest in the story, as well as be a little dismayed by the lack of heart our main character possesses. The main character - a frustrated youth named Lucas - is a poster boy for whining, giving up, disrespect, and disobedience. God forbid kids get a kick out of his rude behavior, especially towards his parents. But director John A. Davis, who directed the equally morose ‘Jimmy Neutron’, lacks guidance when it comes to ‘Ant Bully’ - applying the same frantic nature of last fall’s ‘Chicken Little’ with the brain of ‘Teletubbies’. Like ‘Cars’, the audience is treated to a 50-minute string of complaining and poop jokes and then finished off by a simple-minded battle between the humans and the ants. There’s only so much you can make out of a universe that’s smaller than your average mousepad.

Lucas Nickle (voice of Tyler) is picked on and beaten up by the neighbor bully, who argues his superiority by his size, and who obviously never learned about the end of the Cold War. To vent his anger, Lucas periodically hoses down the anthills in his backyard - in a twisted method to state his own superiority over something. Little does he know that his destruction is being counteracted by the insects, whose kingdom has had enough of ‘Lucas the Destroyer’. Head scientist ant Zoc (Cage) has created a shrinking potion, which if applied, will make the subject the size of - surprise! - an ant. While Lucas’ parents (Oteri and Miller) are off on vacation and he is being babysat by paranoid Mommo (Tomlin), he is shrunk at night and kidnapped by the ants. When put in front of the ant council, the Queen (Streep) orders he live like an ant until he learns his lesson. Along with Zok’s love Hova (Roberts) and friend Kreela (King) and Fugax (Campbell), Lucas learns a little bit about standing up for himself and doing the right thing - and putting his work to the test against the evil Exterminator (Giamatti).

The majority of the cast members in ‘Ant Bully’ give uninspired variations of their characters, making it all the less interesting to watch. Lucas Nickle is voiced by young Zach Tyler, who is equipped with a fantastic cartoon voice yet lacks the proper script to back it up. I give credit to Tyler, whose talent is wasted by the mean-spirited character written for him. Nicolas Cage and Julia Roberts, two fantastic actors in their own right, give overexaggerated versions of their respective ants. Cage seems to pant through all of his life, applying the same tired anger in every scene. Roberts is overly sympathetic and never gives any dimension to Hova, whose role is very important to the storyline. I give credit to Meryl Streep, whose miniscule role is one of the more fitting for the veteran - her ‘Queen Ant’ is a wispy mystical creature of sorts, and Streep’s excessive breathwork makes all the character more interesting to see. Also, the underrated Bruce Campbell gives one of the best performances for ‘Ant Bully’, and procedes to steal every scene he’s in. His overly comical Fugax the Ant is hilarious, and blends wholely with the film’s slapstick homage. And as always, Paul Giamatti wins over the critic in me with his vocal portrayal of the cruel and greasy Exterminator. He’s like a walking trashcan, itching and oozing across the screen with a deep hateful crisp to his voice.

‘Ant Bully’ lacks a good story to support all its characters. Lucas Nickle is written off as just an average pipsqueak - a short kid with thick-rimmed glasses and a tendency of getting picked on. As the story begins with him being bullied, you wish you knew more about this neighbor bully - he’s not even given a name, and yet kids are automatically supposed to connect his anger with the destruction of the ants. Before you know it, he’s one of the insects. He wears a makeshift ant suit, eats centipede poop for food, and learns to climb up walls. Director Davis tries to accumulate lessons of teamwork, forgiveness, and friendship into the story - not realizing that his main character still lets his faults and anger run rampant through the movie. I (and I’m sure other audiences will agree) found Lucas to be one of the worst characters in animated movies this year, battling Lightning McQueen as one of the most self-absorbed jerks to be considered a main character. And at least ‘Cars’ looked better than ‘Ant Bully’ - what Davis offers is ‘Jimmy Neutron version 2.0′. This is a slightly less clunkier version of his outrageously ugly first venture. On occasion, it feels like stop-motion animation, and made me upset how he could possible tarnish poor Nick Park’s reputation in the meantime.

Last weekend, ‘Monster House’ featured intensely scary scenes and mature themes for a kiddie movie, yet I enjoyed it more. So how can I be so hard on ‘Ant Bully’? Unlike the former, ‘Ant Bully’ is meant for a particular audience, and has a moral directed towards said audience. Its result is an insulting movie towards the 4-7 year old category, like a squished bug on John Davis’ resume.