2006, New Line Cinema, Dir. David R. Ellis - Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Nathan Phillips, Rachel Blanchard, Flex Alexander, Kenan Thompson, Sunny Mabrey, Lin Shaye, Bruce James, David Koechner, Bobby Cannavale, Todd Louiso, Byron Lawson

I’ll be frank, but there hasn’t been a movie like Snakes on a Plane in a long, long time. I’m not talking about a horror movie on a plane (Flightplan, Red Eye, anyone?), nor a Samuel L. Jackson-as-hero movie (see anything on his resume), but something much more special than that. For once, a movie has shaped itself solely by means of audience interaction - where fans had their say, and the studios actually listened. Is this capitalizing from it? I tend to think that’s too strong of a term, because let’s be honest - if the studio was willing to change the name to Snakes on a Plane, they must have some conscience. The title is ubiqutious: on T-shirts, necklaces, bracelets, bumper stickers, and frenzied websites everywhere. Neither New Line Cinema or director David Ellis had any idea what the concept had in store for them, but their final product is exactly what it should be: a rabble-rousing, ass-kicking, snakes-on-plane crowdpleaser. The camp is unavoidable, but at least it’s inventive camp. One can squint at the sheer improbability of the story’s events, but who cares? This isn’t Casablanca. It’s Snakes on a Plane.

Eddie Kim (Lawson) is a ruthless killer whose last murder was witnessed by mild-mannered Hawaiian surfer Sean (Phillips). The young man, afraid to testify, gets a silent surprise from Kim’s deadly assassin team…until the man of the hour comes to save Sean and kick some butt! Neville Flynn (Jackson), takes Sean into protective custody and asks him to testify as a witness to Kim’s crime - and finally lock him up in jail. But the trial is in Los Angeles, so Flynn has to fly across the Pacific to deliver him on time. But our enemy has something else in store for them. On their flight - South Pacific Air Flight 121, to be precise - his goons have stored crates of thousands of venomous snakes, set to release themselves once airborne. And when they attack…oh, they go wild! The creatures were given pheromones to enhance their predatory skills, and when over 50 people and an FBI agent die on flight, Agent Flynn needs to start figuring out a plan. As passengers shuffle from end to end of the plane, creating suitcase barriers and creating makeshift weapons, it’s apparent that everybody’s had it with those motherf**kin’ snakes on that motherf**kin’ plane.

Without Samuel L. Jackson, this movie is nothing. There’s nothing more comfortable than the “invincible” hero, and in premises like Snakes, we need a bad ass in the pilot’s seat. Neville Flynn is no Dirty Harry, but man, he hates snakes. Whether his weapon of choice is the taser, secondhand blowtorch, or handgun, a ripple of cheers ruffle through the crowd after every kill. We knew who our hero was before we entered the theater: it’s Jackson, not Flynn. Byron Lawson, for the rough five minutes we see him, is laughable as our villain - you’d think with delivery like this, he wouldn’t be able to fathom such an evil plot. And on tonight’s cast of cliches: Julianna Margulies is that stewardess on her last flight before vacation, Lin Shaye as that retiring stewardess, Bruce James as the token homosexual steward, and the hysterical David Koechner as the lavacious co-pilot. We’ve even got the spoiled rich girl (chihuahua includede) played by Rachel Blanchard, and a germaphobic rap star (Alexander). I could have swore I was watching Crocodile 2: Death Swamp, but this was something better. And people were actually excited about stereotypes. Is this the decline of film as we know it? Nah, we just need our distractions now and then.

Calling Snakes on a Plane silly is an understatement, but calling it stupid is simply false. Director Ellis never planned to make some surrealist, bizarro comedy that has no brain of its own. Rather, the script is smarter than it seems. Sure, the title is as boneheaded as it can get, but is the story really that bad? The terror these snakes unleash on the flight is true to heart, and tends to slide some dark humor here and there. These wormy little reptiles have no qualms on striking anybody they feel like striking, and for matter, wherever they want to. New Line lets the gratuitous violence and nudity flail around for good measure, getting its fair share of laughter from its adult-oriented audience. Much like David Ellis’ previous film Cellular, Snakes is quickly paced and never stops running. The adrenaline of the last thirty minutes is unbeatable for the summer - as the plane whirls downward toward the coast of California, somebody’s got to fly the mothereffin’ plane. You’ll believe the Zucker Brothers gave some in-flight guidance to the crew for a decent comedy bit. Lines of dialogue like these are bound to end up in your local Hot Topic store.

You know how every year, you attend that one sold-out movie with the crazed fans fidgeting in their seats? And when the fanfare rolls, applause fills the room? Snakes on a Plane is that one special blockbuster for 2006, and one of the more entertaining dates this year to the cinema. Hell, you’ll even learn a little something from it. Did you ever know a snake’s sense of sight is like nightvision?